the femaleness of it all

You probably do not realize that I, as a female, do feel more subconscious as an RV driver. When going uphill really slow and causing traffic behind me, I know that as soon as anyone who passes by my RV will give me the stink eye look and go, "a female, no wonder."

Or, if I had to lift my 360lbs tow dolly named Finder, I'd be impressing people all around, as a female, capable of doing such thing. 

Or if I made a bad maneuver and had to restart everything by unhooking Finder and moving the RV to the right place and reconnect Finder, were there people watching me thinking that I need a man to do this job?

the man

May be it's all in my head, may be it's because I was raised in a society where women are viewed as weaklings, as lousy drivers or as someone who belongs in the kitchen. Regardless of it being all in my head or if it actually is the case, that's just an unnecessary added burden to my wellbeing. And, this is something I have to process and slowly learn the art of fuckery for this. 

here's me hooking chains from Finder to Note. PC: Oisin K

When we left our resort at South Jetty yesterday, it was not without drama. The hitching Finder to Meraki and putting Note up on Finder was smooth and we were ready to go. It was at 10:45am. I started the RV and moved forward following the one way direction. I went up a steep incline to exit that specific area only to realize that it required a sharp curve that was too small for mer to do with just one turn. I'd have to reverse and turn. To my horror, I am unable to reverse when there is a tow behind mer. To make it even worse, we were in a steep incline. I was stuck. I had to start all over again, taking Note off (chains and straps removal) and then unhitching Finder. I went to Note and realized that since I was on an uphill incline, the car was resting right on the straps' buckles and the chains around the axel were taut, there was no way for me to unbuckle or add the metal ramp. I stood there thinking of what to do and looked around. We were in the middle of the RV resort and it was empty, nobody was around. I could have gone and asked for help, but I thought... I gotta try. I tried. And tried. Finally, I asked Eitan to come and help me. I had to drive forward slowly and while I did that, he had to quickly loosen the chains. I was super careful and he was quick, success! Finally, I was able to take Note off of Finder. It's usually easy to unhitch the tow, but in this case, I made such a sharp turn that the hitch was in a weird position. Remember, we were on an uphill steep incline. I could NOT unhitch it. I asked Eitan to come and help me to pop it out. We counted to three and finally, it came out- but it instantly rolled backwards and we were stumbling with it. I elbowed Eitan to let go and I was able to stop Finder from rolling backwards. When it finally was in a good position, I had to maneuver mer out of that specific "alley" and I had to grab Finder, lug her all the way up to that spot. All 360lbs of her, up the hill for like 50 feet. 

I did it. I found the right spot to hook everything up and we finally left at 12:10pm. Nobody saw the whole thing happen. Thank god, I thought, because I didn't want them to think "she needs a man after all." How silly was that thought? Yet, how sad?

after the battle, we were ready to go.

However, despite that awful hour plus of labor and near tears, I wasn't sore the next day and I actually was fully capable of doing this on my own. I also learned few things: 1) study your exit routes at rv parks especially when towing 2) Before leaving to the next destination, use the RV alone to get gas filled up before connecting to the tow and 3) I really need to NOT care about what others think, especially me as a woman.

all done!

Side note: while going through all the manuals and paperwork left by the previous owner were under a female name. Maria. I guess Meraki is meant to be owned and driven by a female after all.