Let me share you a funny story that is true and that it is not exaggerated. You know, my being Deaf which means, I automatically was forced to take speech classes. Ya know, to become “normal.” Somewhat.
Our speech teacher had a little cart where she’d bring it with her everywhere. On that cart, there were a whole bunch of audistic devices in hope to save Deaf children. I remember that cart just as if it is right next to me now. Tall, dark, green, dusty and cluttered AF. My twin sister and I shared the same speech classes for years. During 4th grade, there is one particular speech class that will never be forgotten for the both of us.
We were practicing certain notes and usually, we had to do it at the same, like creepy synchronized voices emitting near perfection sounds of ch- ch-, f-f-. When we were practicing our f’s, there was a weird smell. It smelled like fart mixed with something fruity. Sorta like a Juicy Fruit smell with a fart scent. I looked at my sister and we exchanged that "wtf" look. We turned our horrified expressions and looked at our speech teacher. Bless her heart, she improvised right on the spot.
“Yes, what you smell is pineapple fart. Can you say that? Pineeeeeappleee f-f-faaaaarrrtt.”
In unison, “pineeeeeeappllleeeeee ffaaaaarrrrtttt,” we chimed.
Yes. This really happened. And yes, recently, my twin sister told me that there is actually such thing as a pineapple fart. For reals.
So. My boys know this story. They laugh EVERYTIME I share about it. Also, it’s my trick to get them to laugh when taking photos. I'd look through the lens and then say loudly, "pineapple faaaaaarrttt!!!"
I guess that’s probably the only good thing that came out of our speech trainings.
Thank you, Mrs. Rudy.
just a mother who fled from society's constraints and is super excited to wake up to the outdoors, remain braless daily and teach her boys the art of boredom and discovery.