a plugged lava lamp

​They say it takes two weeks to form a new habit. Break it even. It’s like one minute at a time for two weeks and then all of the sudden, it’s baby steps toward something permanent. 

baby steps, pc: eitan k

​Few weeks back, I was so frantic inside my core, like a lava lamp vigorously shaken while hot. All the little bits and pieces floated, completely unhitched. Then I got sick. My lamp was off and they all sank down to the bottom, melded a single solid lump of cold wax. I questioned a lot of things, especially about choices in my entire life that have led up to this. 

levitating

​One of the biggest things that gnawed at my peace was that sense of being alone. I am fully aware of the amazing love and support I have from so many people regarding this journey however, I still felt incredibly utterly despondently alone.  I made this choice and regardless of how amazing this experience is, my aloneness is present and will be even more at the end of this trip. So, with this revelation, here’s a haiku I wrote:
 
alone than ever
surrounded by everything
yet, the best moment

tipping point

surrounded in a suffocating way

The realization and acceptance of my being alone has allowed me to warm up and float up gently, causing my life to seem as mesmerizing as a lit lava lamp. I am okay with it and I am now a big warm blob levitating and embracing little pieces at the slightest touch. It’s the step towards something permanent, a me that’s okay with being who I am.
I then wrote:
​
what is one more light
when you can shine so much more
hotter than that fire?

one more light

when you can shine so much more

hotter than fire

​Anyway, hoo wee, back to the topic of “habit forming/breaking.” It is impossible to form a habit on Finding Meraki, we’ve been moving from one place to another, never longer than 11 days. Now today is our first time to be at the same place at day 12. I found myself itching to explore another town, looking at different places and hotels deals. I stopped myself. I picked this place to stay for one entire month solely to experience a lifestyle I’ve always wanted, and that is, living on a beach.

beach living

profound sense of tranquility

oisin meir

could do this everyday

the motions of warmth

​And it’s the place to be. The place where it’s the tipping point of knowing what happens next. The place to be daily inspired from. The place that I can make an entire book out of. It’s my meraki. 

inspiration

my window of muse, pc: eitan k

a beautiful concept of being alone