I am quick to forget and forgive. That’s probably a damning trait of mine, because in that alone, I react swiftly, with my emotions all over the map. Then as a result, even if I was valid with my feelings, I always apologize and always am the person who makes amends. When I find myself doing that often, I get to the point where I resent myself. Currently, my resentment towards who I am is at all time high and it’s festering.
I do not handle silent treatment nor do I give one. It’s hard to be silent. However, when I DO become quiet, that’s because I’m angry. Very, very angry and do not trust myself at the moment.
I expected this journey to be full of ups and downs, mostly ups because it’s an experience of a lifetime. However, I did not expect to be violated nor to be put into a position where I feel very lousy about myself.
So, right now, in silence I will seethe and grit my teeth because I am better than this. And I so want to master on silence, even with a beehive mind, because I think it will make me so much more powerful and give me back my ownership of my emotions and to love me for who I REALLY am.
From now and on, zero fucks.
just a mother who fled from society's constraints and is super excited to wake up to the outdoors, remain braless daily and teach her boys the art of boredom and discovery.